Thank you

For these past few days I knew something is wrong within me. Like something is missing. I am sad, but I don't know why. And today I'm crying. Alone. In my bathroom. At first I thought I cried for many different reasons. Eventually, I know why. It's the impending sadness that I've been holding back as long as I can. Like the flood that burst the dam. 

I miss them.

Yeah, I miss those people who've been living together with me under one roof for 25 days. Strangers at first, family in the end. You know that feeling when you just click and feel comfortable with certain people? In no time we quickly threw away the awkwardness and show our true self. Literally our truest self ahaha. We laughed in small, silly and stupid things. Had a deep conversation about life. Crying together out of homesick. We even talked about our poop habits, which is eww actually, but we are human so what *shrugs*

(the funny thing is the moment I'm typing this our group chat is active and as usual talking about not-so-important things. No, I'm not crying. My eyes just tired watching the screen for too long.)

Missing you

Have you ever missing someone? Of course yes. It can be your family, friends, or crush *uhuk*
Been hard times these past few months. Nothing beats the feeling of missing someone, when you don't know if he/she even remembers you. Or you can't meet the person directly. Sometimes the worst part I think is when their name keep appears in your notifications, somehow you get this delusional imagination, that they're missing you too but neither of you dare to make the first move. I miss you. A lot. The end.

Struggling

I know, the title is not interesting at all. I just can't (or lazy enough) to think a proper title. So this has been my third semester in my college life. Another tiring, busy yet fun semester. Yay! XD haha, no no I'm serious. It's fun sometimes. If you don't have exams to face with, or papers to do, and organization's works. *rollingeyes*
Yeah there are times when it feels tough, like this time. That's why, I write this post. Actually it's not that bad. I'm just having a hard time dealings with my hormones (yes, blame those hormones!). Been some busy days, with studying for exams, doing papers for my PBL's group, making an event proposal, and getting through some this missing feeling (is that even a correct grammar? whatever). Basically I'm not too good with time management. So when all things happen at the same time, and you're not in good mood, feels like you can explode anytime someone piss you off.
But no, I'm not giving it up. I know a person has to be better every time, And that's why I'm trying to do. I'm tying yo have some better time-management. Make priorities. Trying to be more patient, istighfar everytime I feel my tension is getting higher. And remember the reason, the first reason why I was willing to do all of this. Remember that though it feels like the the burden is so heavy, there always people who have bigger burden. And then something really makes me realize, I really have no right to complain, when there are my parents who have been fighting for me, been fighting longer and struggling more, yet they've never complained.And something that's not less important, you always have Allah SWT by your side, in darks and lights.
With that thought in mind, strangely it gives me strength. Strength to welcome anything in my life, and ready to go through it, no matter how hard it will be. Because you just know, your struggling is nothing compared to your parents's. And you know they will always fighting for you. Knowing that there are people who are fighting for us is what you can call it "personal medicine'. And of course, realize that what you've been given is way much more bigger than you've given^_^

You have to fight and struggle everyday. You just have to remember the reason why you have to do that, then it will be easier.

Love

Recently, I found out songs that I'm addicted to. Of course, it's about love. But hey, love is universal right? There are some songs that I've been repeated in my playlist, like songs of 5 Seconds of Summer. But the song(s) that I'm gonna post here is those which I think could be applied to 'universal love'.

The first one is from the movie starring Shailene Woodley and Ansel Elgort. So yeah, this song most likely tells the story of the movie, and that's why I think that's beautiful.

Perbaikan

Kata 'perbaikan' tuh di FK lebih populer daripada Justin Bieber. Atau Coboy Junior. Atau bahkan si Emon. Bukan cuma populer. Tapi sekaligus bikin merinding. Kalau bisa dijauhi. Yap, perbaikan, atau lebih tepatnya ujian perbaikan, itu setara lah sama remidi jaman kita SMA. (berasa SMA udah lama aja, padahal baru juga lulus tahun lalu). Nah, tapi nggak bakalan bahas tentang ujian perbaikan atau yang lebih ngetop disingkat UP itu kok. Sudah. Cukup. Rasanya sudah mules denger kata itu. Kebetulan aja kok waktunya pas, kemarin abis kena UP.

Kita sebagai manusia, emang fitrahnya untuk terus selalu berusaha memperbaiki diri menjadi lebih baik. Bukankah waktu kita di dunia itu cuma sebentar banget? Berasa sekejap, katanya. Hanya seperti singgah doang di suatu sore untuk istirahat minum sebelum melanjukan perjalanan yang amat panjang. Maka dari itu, rugi kalau kita hidup di dunia ya cuma kayak gitu-gitu aja. Nggak ada usaha blas untuk selalu berusaha berbenah diri, berusaha untuk mencintai Tuhannya, menjalankan semua syariatNya, menjauhi laranganNya, mengabdi pada umat, berusaha untuk bermanfaat bagi sebanyak-banyaknya orang. Yang ada maksiat terus kita kerjakan, tanpa malu-malu lagi, dan nggak pernah meminta ampun padaNya. Naudzubillah. Semoga kita bukan termasuk orang-orang yang senang mengerjakan kemaksiatan, ya. ^_^