Thank you

For these past few days I knew something is wrong within me. Like something is missing. I am sad, but I don't know why. And today I'm crying. Alone. In my bathroom. At first I thought I cried for many different reasons. Eventually, I know why. It's the impending sadness that I've been holding back as long as I can. Like the flood that burst the dam. 

I miss them.

Yeah, I miss those people who've been living together with me under one roof for 25 days. Strangers at first, family in the end. You know that feeling when you just click and feel comfortable with certain people? In no time we quickly threw away the awkwardness and show our true self. Literally our truest self ahaha. We laughed in small, silly and stupid things. Had a deep conversation about life. Crying together out of homesick. We even talked about our poop habits, which is eww actually, but we are human so what *shrugs*

(the funny thing is the moment I'm typing this our group chat is active and as usual talking about not-so-important things. No, I'm not crying. My eyes just tired watching the screen for too long.)

I still can remember clearly how our day began. Me usually being the first to wake up. And then I woke up the girls for Fajr. I tried for several times to wake up the boys, then give up in the end. My voice is too soothing I guess hehehe. Then we helped carry the motorcycles out of the house. Cleaning the house. Selfie(s) in rice-fields. Making breakfast. Waiting (and fighting) to take a bath first. After that we're going to school, teaching dedek-dedek emesh ^^. Snacking to market, buy pentol and bakso for (almost) everyday! Like what the ... As a future doctor I tried warning them, I really did. Well .... Guess I'm really bad at persuading people, isn't it? At night, we tried to have dinner before teaching (again) the kids around our neighborhood. It's more like chit-chat actually hahaha. Some of the mothers usually come and wait in the terrace, trying to teach us some maduranese XD. After that, the boys usually heading out to Pak Kades, Pak Tinggi, or Mas Eko the famous guy *coughhard* for 'cangkruk' and back at midnight. And the girls do what they usually do, ludruk in our room with Mbak Erma and Mbak Roha as the main hosts! waks

Some days are busy with our programs. But actually most our time spent with traveling and eating ha! I've said it before and I want to say it again. I'm so proud and grateful for having these friends who willingly reach out their hands to help, without being asked. No one said, "It was my job" "It was your job" "I'm too busy" "I'm tired". We're in this together, we do it together. Everyone just trying their best to finish the job properly. Not everyone actually, but let's just not talk about it eh. Not only about our programs, but also other's well-being. Cooking, washing the dishes, cleaning the house, even buying snacks and walking around. We tried taking turns to do the job, trying to ease the burden.

Nonetheless, working or not, we learn little about each other as time fled by. We have different personalities, some even standing in the opposite of the spectrum. Yet that doesn't hinder us to get closer. One thing I guess our similarity is that our laid-backness hehehe. We don't complicate things, trying to do things efficiently so we have a lot of time to traveling and having fun muahaha. Ah, and our brutal honesty. It's 2016 and yeah we talk directly about how we feel. Problems aren't resolved on their own while we're 'ngoding' on his/her back yo. Sometimes you need to be criticized to better. Again, I'm proud of them, even though they  always having this dagelan-look everywhere everytime, they can be so wise and talking the prob;ems out without hurting one's feeling. There's some angst and tears, of course, but that's how relationship is, right?

In the end, despite everything, I'm happy. Meeting you was fate. And loving you all was beyond my control. Thank you for teaching me how to love and that "tresna jalaran saka kulina" does happen. 

Let's love as long long as we can!

August 16th 2016

Still can't get over that Post-KKN-Syndrome