Sumpek, Homesick ..... :(

It's been a looooooooooooong time I have left this blog, huh????

Yeah, I know, I know, I know

it was just not the right time for me to write hehe . . .

in my defense, I was way too busy to write something :p

but the truth is I was too lazy wakakakak

Ok then,

what should I write???

About my life here,

FYI, I'm in Bilingual Class now, which means we have more ability in english *wuih *sum'ah

there are 34 tails, eh people in my class,

Insyaallah it will still like that in 3 years later if we're being strong and smart enough *grrrr

Btw. I love all my classmates,

They have been my family now

*Yay, I have 3 family now -> my real family, damaskus sisterhood, and bilingualXstudents*

Well, its kinda hard for me in the beginning, until now atcually, because I have to do a lot of adaption, between school, ma'had schedules, homeworks, and study :(

I still feel homesick, and I can't cry to anybody because they are feeling the same way like I do,

I still have an unfinished problemo with my Sista/BFF,

and I can't find my spirit, my motivation to be the best in here.

What's wrong with me?????

I always feel tired, headache, unfresh, no happiness . . .

and I miss my old life so badly hikz2

I need someone to share, to hug, to be my bestfriend,

but who????

And I still find it's hard to be blended in with the others.

I mean, why can't I?!

And besides, it always happens to me,

I love someone who doesn't even know me,

and you know what???????

he loves one of my sisters!!!!!!

It's hurt when hear someone else say his name but i's not for me and you can't do nothing . . .

I wanna be mad, especially to my BF,

why can't her be more sensitive????????

It was so hurt, my heart likes broken everytime they did that,

broken worse and worse until I wonder if is there anything left . . .

Should I give up and let my heart open to someone else?

BTW, Everytime I see the sky, one thing that always I think about -> Home

I miss my family, I miss my home, and everything inside and outside aoround my home T_T

Did I make the wrong choice, when I decided to move here???

Now I doubt, with my dream to get scholarship in europe.

I realize that (for now) I can't live separated with my family. I can't imagine what will my life be without meet my parents for years. :(

I wish I become mellow like this just because PMS. I have to be strong, I know. But sometimes, Storong is tiring. I want to be weak sometimes. But I don't know how. Or maybe I have too much ego. Wish me I can get through of this week succesfully without tears and sickness ^_^